MARISSA IS HAVING A BBQ RIGHT NOW AND I'M NOT THERE

...because I am in California. 

but here's some poignant BBQ imagery for you, dear reader, to make you as sour as I am that you aren't at a BBQ right now either (even though, come to think of it, the only people who read this blog probably ARE actually at Marissa's BBQ right now, whatever, jerks, it's 90 degrees here) 

 

BBQ brings people together 

yes this gun is for cooking BBQ

look how happy these people are to be eating BBQ

God Bless America and BBQ

memorable BBQ activities with friends  

BBQ TO-FUCKING-GO

sometimes BBQs can be awkward

I don't know what this has to do with BBQ but it kept showing up every time I googled the word BBQ so I guess it's important.  

 

MOVIES I MAY HAVE WATCHED YESTERDAY

Father of the Bride 2

Vanity Fair

A Japanese Story 

Dan in Real Life 

Benny and Joon

Superbad

Do not Judge, I have a fever and...

This selection was produced via Netflix's "Watch Instantly"

Can we please add more options Netflix?

Exception: Benny and Joon

It is a keeper, because I enjoy Mr. Depp's youthful swing in front of hospital windows and creepy but dreamy bit of hiding in trees. These are good things.

ALSO: 

Katy Porter has ventured to the land of Golden Bears. CALIFORNIA.

I will check on her bike.

KATY: Thanks. I love you. 

SOMETIMES I THINK I WANT TO GET ANOTHER TATTOO...

... and then other times, I get discouraged... thinking that all the good ideas have just already been done...

 

side note: shout out to marissa who is really sick with a strange affliction and has been confined to her bed for the last two days. I hope its not from you doing your voodoo skillz on me the other night at the show. Transference!? 

WHY YOUR LEGS HURT

Because:

Finally the 8 month winter is over, and it is now rainy, hot, and humid. So you decided to ride your bike to the YMCA, utilize a guest pass / get on a treadmill.

You set it at 30 minutes because your friend says no less.

Done, what, you stretch and go on an elliptical machine - again with the 30. Friend advises a 500 calories burn. Again you sweat, yep,

and now think about the Natives...the lodges... and the UPS man out the window. Mainly you think about his sweet brown shorts.

Cool down, done and how. Line up, drink icy water, splash your face. It is illuminated, bright and shiny.

Exit, with each step a floaty glide. Like a boat, like a moon, like Jesus.

The bike ride home is down, downhill. You pass trucks and inhale small particles / gag slightly. It is weird how life continued during your hour away with machines. So you ride on, ride on. Tossing your prophetic hair, pausing only to buy a red toothbrush.

And so it has begun. EXERCISE.

24 + 12 hours later a confused muscular system awakens and burns. You flex thinking of the Body Exhibit. Are you broken? or revived?

Are you ever going to be able to use your legs again? What day is it? Who are you?

Stop vidding against me or i will invade YOU

 

Now, I am totally aware that Captain Planet videos are a really easy target for comedic fodder, but that being said, seriously, watch these two videos and can we please discuss the many, many things that are so very wrong with all of this?  And then can we quote lines from them for the next couple of days? I just can't believe I failed to remember that this show tackled such big issues and resolved them with the most stupefying social and cultural incognizance EVER.  

side note: Marissa, I would like to think of us as Future Frauleins of sorts... the good, non-evil, nonselling-atomic-bombs-to-a-fauxMexItaliaGerman-hitler-of-the-past sorts of course.    

REINVENT YO LIFE W/ PUFFY-PAINTZ

Puffy paint is making a comeback this summer 2009 with all it's neon glories. So pump up the jam, pump it up!!

Welcome hot pink glitter glam bam into your ensembles and bedazzle your friends and fanny packs.

Why not go "green," puffy paint green! Revamp a shirt and reinvent your life. Word.

REDUCE RECYCLE

REUSE

REDO

KATY: I endorse this message. Puffy paint has been a favorite 'tricky substance to spread evenly' of mine since my 10th birthday party. But, Riss, DO NOT put puffy paint on your leather fanny pack, we discussed this.

MARISSA: K.

(shirt by artdivastudio.etsy.com )

FIRST POST EVER: Porcupines Will Fuck You Up

Last week, while brunchmunching at Riss's, I took a moment to see what insights her medicine cards might hold for me.  I pulled the Porcupine card.  I had pulled that card the last time too, a couple of weeks earlier. Apparently, I still have much to learn from personifying the innate spirit-trends of the Porcupine.  But after chancing upon this image today, I just feel the need to apologize to this poor fucking dog on behalf of all of us reluctant porcupines out there who just can't help but lose our shit when someone sticks their nose up in our bizness. Sorry, dog.